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07 10th, 2009| 
You may be wondering if everyone is having lots of perfect sex…except you and your partner? Most of us question how our sex lives stack up. But the fact of the matter is that, the two of you don’t have to experience knee-shaking orgasms to have healthy intimacy. As a matter of fact, chances are your sex life is in better shape than you think—even with the occasional drop in the activity. Here are four top myths according to me that you shouldn’t buy into.
Myth #1: You both need to be in the mood do it
It’s very normal for sex to be a little low key for one or both spouses around 10-15% of the time. There are a large number of factors can make things go off-track: timing of the act, your mood or your partner’s, the amount of foreplay, life stresses, and many more. Rather than postponing the sack session until the planets align or the lights light up in your minds, have sex when you can, and never ever interpret an off day/night as a sign of a failing relationship. If your man seems disengaged, just be affectionate and look forward to next time. To keep things exciting, make a point of venturing out of your comfort zone occasionally with new positions, locations, and sexy videos.
However, if one or both of you is never, ever in the mood anymore, consider consulting a therapist or medical doctor to make sure of any unknown health problems.
Myth #2: Spontaneous sex is the Best
It’s a fact of modern life: What we don’t schedule, we don’t do, whatever happens in the spur of teh moment is always the best—and sex is no exception. However one should not expect it to just happen spur-of-the-moment could lead to long dry spells, whereas penciling it in on your calendar is a show of commitment; plus, it gives you both something to anticipate.
A good piece of advise would be to try and establish a weekly time for intimacy, meaning anything from sex to cuddling. Choose a time frame you can both commit to easily, without tiredness or daily chores getting in the way. Devoting that time should take you back to those eagerly anticipated first dates.
Myth #3: Having Sex 3 Times a week is necessary for a great sex life
Having sex regularly does nourish a relationship to be very honest, but don’t get too caught up in the counting. It is a very well known fact most happy couples don’t have sex every day or even two or three times a week. What’s important is that you both are satisfied with the frequency. If that’s not the case, start a discussion outside the bedroom by saying something like, “We don’t have sex as often anymore, and it worries me.” And remember the most important fact of all: There’s more to a healthy sex life than just sex.
Myth #4: Good sex is long and slow
In this busy world few of us can afford the luxury of leisurely sex. Frankly, most of us find it like doing more work after an already exhausting day. And holding out for the ideal moment can lead to infrequent or, even worse, vacation-only sex. So what could be the solution? Embrace the quickie. Think of it like a sex snack, which is sure to boost your energy and put you back in the mood. For extra excitement, breaking out of the bedroom and having those five-minute romps at unusual locations like your shower or sofa can be the real deal.
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Original Post at: sexualperformance blog
